It's monologue

2/29 

I keep thinking I want to write a letter. 

But i don't know what I want to say, nor where I should start with my thoughts.

It's like there's something I want to say but there's no words or even languages that i can speak it out.

The comforting thing to me I guess is not what you can help me out but,

I need a company, I need a friend who's very been close to my soul, my mind, so that I don't even 

need to think about what I could say or not to say. 

My brain and mind can just go blanking without worring about how silly and foolish i was. 

It was a great hurt the one said: you don't really appreciate friendships. 

It was a slap on my face because I so cherished that, which you are the one who didn't give a shit.

And yet, you turned back to cast the blame upon me that I was guilty and awful....

What else I can keep hope with you if all I feel is you regarded me as a negligible passenger or even a trash?

2/26 

林媽媽說的太好了：

“你知道愛情最好笑和最荒謬的地方在哪嗎？”

“是什麼？”

“最好笑的是是它都沒有預告,

最荒謬的是 是不知道它在演些什麼”

2/18

對於可以說出口的痛苦

或許還不夠到痛撤心扉

至少你還能言語化 讓別人知道你的難過和委屈

藉由吐苦水的心情  稍稍減輕點心中的苦

因為朋友的傾聽 或多或少幫你稀釋掉一些乙醯膽鹼

Dopamine 可能有機會挽回一些劣勢

說不出 現在心中的那刺痛

像是啞巴吃黃連般  有苦怎樣都說不清

或童話中 美人魚將聲音賣給了魔女

以至於她想說話為自己發聲時 卻是有苦難言急在心裡 

說不出口的痛苦 才是真的悲哀的地方吧

如何  我才能把我的痛苦分給你？

如果可以分可你僅僅是 1/2的痛苦  我會毫不猶豫

2/14 (Tue)

Never had Valentine's day in my many past years.

Of course it wouldn't have any change in this year, either.

Not caring about it too much, except

couple of friends around me may mind a bit.

Honestly, I am quiet not even sure what attitude I should hold toward to this,

the truth for being not to celebrate it for a decade or so.

Feel sympathy, or indifferent for myslef ?