It's monologue

Conflited thoughts happened to me these days again. 

Whenever that happened, it always made me feel extremely confused.

I am more and more wondering is it more likely because of personal problem,

or it's just like what somebody has told me before?

How did I know it's worthy to keep the belief I am doing now?

When you look around, find nobody is like you, would that mean you're the wrong person?

I really don't know what's the next step this behavior or idea will lead me.

I am just feel more and more frustrated that being a different style seems wrong, because

people may not understand why you behave like that way.

Moreover, there would be more sarcarsms and critiques produced in your back, which

you just don't know how people looked at you in your back.

I never thought the living style/culture in western world is absolutely better

than any other conturies in this world.

However, I don't think people can deny there are some essential values in people

who live here and stand in their contury for a very long time.

Respect, is the first thing I think everyone should know better no matter your nationaity.

Sometimes, I also wonder is that really true that easter culture tends to de-iindividualize

personale traits because you have to compromise others and endure others.

That may be true under some circumstances. 

But, the fine bundary of being yourself and taking whole part as more important than the individual

does exist, I think.

It doens't mean you have to fight for your right anyhow and anytime.

I am sure the education here doesn't teach you to become a personal-right fighter.

But be more independent and also sharpen your thoughts and your insights.

However, it's also true that many people are over-exaggerating the self-awareness

because they do what they want and be who they are. 

I think the misunderstandings will always be there. 

As long as the cultural difference between western and estern cultures live one day,

I think there are still tons of people will keep doing the same thing as most of people

even though some of them are yelling they don't want to trap into the situaion,

however, i can't see thing will get any change if they don't change thier behaviour and

be brave to step out the very 1st different step in the very beginning.

As what I mentioned before,

I doubt myself more and more in these days.

I am also doubting that is it because I am some sort of proud so that

those things keep happening to me.

I have a gut's instinct that this kind of troubles will keep showing up in

my following days here. Very sad and inevitalbe that I have to find

a way overcoming it as soon as possible though I don't feel sad about myself

because I'm pretty sure that everyone has different goals to be here.

I would just ask one thing that do respect people who have different ideas for 

being here.

You may not accept others' thoughts, but you definitely need to learn respect it!