Footnote of this month:

While I was yelling why February should be the shortest month but I feel like two month long.

Then it was officially ended. Nothing new but hope at least a little bit improved I got in the end.

2/28 (Mon.)

This must be the most unpleasant Monday that I've ever had! 

Of course the schedule of that day influenced me a lot.

A hasty final exam and paper due and a short presentation.

God knows I am not a native English speaker.

to prepare the presentation and to write the paper work in such a short time were just a way torturing me.

In addition to my perfectionist sometimes arises without any reasons, I was completely stressed out 

in that week. 

I don't know did I do the exam well though I really hope so.... I need a good grade to pass the exam ~"~

'Coz even I can't explain what the hack I screwed up the first one. 

For the paper, I hope I didn't mess up the order of the pages since I had no time to go back check every

word I typed in that paper = =. I am sure it must be horrible to read thought.

And so does the presentation. Sometime I can't even explain things well in a long time. 

Now we had to finish all the stuff in 5-6 minutes??? Why don't you just kill me that would be much easier!?

A catastrophic day....  

2/26 (Sat.)

Feel very annoying..... imbalance mind....

2/25 (Fri.)

Mmmm.... feel like there were too much I want to say....

I think, maybe it's an illusion. An illusion resulted from people are being too busy all the time.

No one can really spare time for each other. 

I mean, it seems like less possible to find a intimate.

Have you really thought about something in your life?? 

Always? Usually? Seldom? Never? Or what is that??

I need mentally support. But, my body also says physically support is in need too.

Do you like me? Am I a decorative person in your life?

Who says that?

2/20 (Sun)

Lettres à Nelson Algren 

I'm so eager to see you again,

but I wouldn't ask to see you.

Not because I am proud.

In fact, in front of you,

I cede all my pride.

Yet only if you asked to see me

Our meeting would be meaningful to me

                              -Simone de Beauvoir

How fragile it could be.

So untruthful it was, the yesterday.

Too cruel, too vague, too shameful.

2/19 (Sat)

And then, I thought of the way I can accept plurk is 

to see it as a tool to record down some thoughts at some lightening moments, maybe.

It's uncomfortable to study the methods of euthanasia, especially in the physically way.

2/18 (Friday)

A week which is like a month long

Is there anything could really make me happy??

Crap....... 

2/12 (Saturday)

This may be a random writing also a responding opinion to a friend's blog.

I thought sometimes I subconsciously escape from some exquisite words among poetry, proses or even novels 

is because I am afraid to removing those layer and layer shells upon my heart. 

As time goes by, I can't even understand is that an optimistic attitude facing the life I pretend to

or just being a pessimist hiding the true me but I am unaware of all that time.

Beautiful words can always hit to the exactly points of ours hearts as long as you are at the same frequent

with the authors. However, how many people have been forgetting the pouring feeling when they read the 

words within lines and pages? Especially for those who do not read books except for textbooks?

Have we tried not to be aware of the metaphor meaning which behind of the literature

because we don't want to know how fragile our minds are and how reckless we behave in daily life? 

We tend to bury our soft parts and only show them in front of families, close friends and lovers. 

We mask ourselves habitually and unconsciously which resulting from our culture, society and invisible stress.

We learned to hide since very young. We are taught to be honest to people in the society.

Yet, have we really been honest to ourselves to know the weakness on our own?  

Things change too fast that there is no pause to give us.

Life is a lesson not too many people could learn it well. 

We can't satisfy all the people we have met.

We can't ask for all of them to accept our thoughts always because this is a diverse world that living

more than 6 billion people upon.

I think I prefer 席慕容's works more than 崎君's words. I just think the previous one is somewhat

more truthful and close to my real thoughts. Also, Jane Austin is sometimes very similar to 席慕容 to me.

2/8 (Tuesday)

If I could erase myself from your memory, I would.

If I could take back all the belonging of mine, I would.

That's nothing with being an assassin or something but disappearance.