It's monologue

Before start this article,

Let me write down a short conversation between a friend and I.

One day, I talked with a good friend in school. She's a funny and pretty black girl.

I told her: I feel like I am gaining weight these days.... need to exercise...!!

She said: what??!! Say it again? Are you serious? Where? Where are you gaining weight? Your brain?

I laughed so uncontrollably....

I said: No... I'm gaining weight.Though I wish my brain gain weight, too! XD

* If you have no patience with long English article, you can skip it now =)

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November began with two heavy exams, if I didn't count the one at the end of October.

Such scarry two exams. I haven't felt so unprepared for an exam in my lifetime.

I was totally freaked out. Not only because I was so afraid of screwing the important exam agian,

but also there were 11 lectures I had to study just within four days!

I was about to live in the library. Not to mention those days were damn cold than any other day.

I almost couldn't remember those days correctly.

School, lectures, study, library, and late-night study, wandering between sober and sleepy.

Though I felt like I screwed the exam again.

Usually, the average of exams are eighties something in my class . (this is really amazing... I meant it amazed me a lot)

Because we didn't have such a high average score in undergraduate.

But, that doesn't mean our exams are pretty easy that every one can get a higher score.

In fact, we usually have hard exams, some questions may be basic though.

The questions may be either basic but tricky or very hard you need to think them over and over again. (you may don't know the answer even if you think so hard!) 

So, that tells one thing at least, all my classmates learn and response pretty fast.

I am foutunate to study with some hard study and clever friends, otherwise, I don't think I can survive after every exam.

Nevertheless, that is still a challenge to me. I need to catch up what we were discussing, tyring to figure out, and digesting as fast as I could.

Imagin this in Taiwan, a Chinese environment, 

it's pretty much like a group of people are pretty good at a specific field,

or you can assume they have very strong background before they came together.

So, basically they know how this knowledge works to some extend,

which resulting in every discussion is absouletly fast.

Now, turn that into English mode. That's what I try to handle with now.

I really hope I could contribute to something or completely join those discussion

instead of just listening, raising questions, short discussing.

Because you can feel they really understood what they learned from the classes,

then truned into their own knowledge and applied the knowledge in different ways.

Comparing with those Chinese students, they help each other after the class, discussiing in Chinese.

That might be much easier to me if I try to discuss in Chinese, though I can't tell

why I should translate those academic words into Chinese term.

Well, that's always hard to me when undergraduate.

I always couldn't memorize those words in Chinese.... they are either too long or too weird to me.

All in all, I'm still working on this part. Hope I can really get used to these.

I can't always obtain benefits from others and yet have no contributions all the time.

That would be too ..... discouraging. 

How can I diminish the detached feeling which comes with me all the way...??