It's monologue

10/25 (Mon.)

I feel like people here are really very competitive becaue they almost have goals in their minds.

Even they don't, they still know what they exactly want now.

I feel shamed....

10/24 (Sun.)

After being few weeks cold, today is really warm and shining.

I had a dinner with a friend, which is so sweet and a new experience to me.

We talked a little bit and enjoied a good evening time (at least that was what I felt).

Though it took me one hour walk to her apartment, but fortunately I like walking so much

(just not to made me feel heels hurting then everything is fine).

I don't know whether I brought her some inconvenience but I really like to chat with her.

Besides, I tried not to rely on the same friend too much because I know that may induce bad feelings too.

Sometimes, I feel I am isolated here.... thanks to I'm used to being alone and get well with lonely for a long time,

plus those endless study that shuts down some negative emotions often.

The coming week is another exhausting week again, no complaints..!

I should be grateful to have friends in class helping me a lot although we were just knew each other for almost two months only.

10/20 (Thurs.)

很確定我不喜歡聽到總是有人在考完試後一直說: Those stupid questions! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!

Hey! If you don't like tests, why do you decide to study in this program??

can't understand. Don't blame things that you bring upon yourself.

And people have no responsibilities to hear your complaint here. Such a negative attitude.

10/18 (Mon.)

bitterly feel so frustrated and anxious this evening.

have no idea what I am doing, also felt detached from the current.

the ambiguous feeling contains diverse emtions which I can't tell completely.....

conflicts, confuses, camoulflage, compromises.... 

hello.... are you still yourself?

If I drop a tear that means I am not strong and independent enough so far....

No time to waste anymore

10/9 (Sat.)

Finally, went to a great museum and had a really great time...

with new views and feels.

10/7 (Thur.)

be good.... my nose, please...

10/2 (Sat.)

how many times of feeling lost I should experience during my lifetime?

I don't know what I'm doing....

had gray/black nightmares couple consecutive days...

was wakened up at midnight and dawn, not sure what those dreams mean...